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Does my ex really have a chance of getting 50/50 residency?
If he wants the children 50-50 of the time during the holidays it will be up to him to provide child care during the times he has them - he wont get every weekend as a court has to allow you quality time with children as well.Things for you to think about - can he afford to take you to court?or does he have it in him to represent himself? Could he make child care arrangements in the times he wishes to have the children if he were at work during the day? Could this be over money? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 19:00:23
Can I stop this
Sorry the first bit was sarcasm! (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:59:45
CSA is unfair and biased!
I agree with the news always reporting about fathers not paying up and the CSA struggling to cope. We have never heard one complaint from the from the other side of the story on the news! Its only when you come online and look it up you realise how many people are in the same boat or worse. What I cant understand is living in a modern society with step parents and woman going out to work why do the CSA seems to be out of date.If the PWC has a good household income and is able to support her child fully then surly the cost should be split between the parents.Dont the CSA realise the issues they cause and caught up in the middle are the children? My partner and I try not to think about it, it doesnt cause any bridges between us as we both feel the same about it. If you let it, it can just consume you. We just try to see it as another payment like the mortgage and forget about it but from time to time we just find it fustrating especially as theres been alot of boasting on the PWC's side witch we find very fustrating and insensitive to our situation.We seem to be noticing lack of money more and more recently with the fuel prices and cost of food, clothes etc going up. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:59:42
Can I stop this
Yes you can. You are her parent and have the passport.But if she has been left in the care of your mother by your ex. it makes it a bit tricky. You may end up having to compensate them for her place on the hols and have her stay with you. Then risk the wrath of her mother when she returns and finds out that you changed her plans.It really isn't a hardship for her to go on this holiday. She is playing you...
get her to go, save the grief. It really doesn't sound worth it.Make sure she takes everything she will need to entertain herself and talk to your mum about what they intend to do to entertain HER!!! It may be the last time she decides to do it..teenagers can be hard work and it will disrupt the tranquility... (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:58:13
Can I stop this
On the one hand, I think it is a dangerous game to get involved in the tale telling of a 13 year old - they are classic age to be manipulating you left, right and centre...It happens a lot when the parenst are seperated, as you can always guarantee a *bite* out of the one parent if you make out that the otehr parent is doing something unfair.....and you seem to be oblivious to the world war three it *may* create if YOU personally put a stop to the holiday.I also see the elements of wanting to prevent the mother's holiday, as others have noted - you mentioned that Mum was swanning off, before you mentioned that kid didn't want to go.I'd also suggest that there is more to this than meets the eye, as the child lives with mum, but you hold the passport.... presumably then, Mum wouldn't have been able to take the child on holiday anyway??Finally, you're going on about stopping the holiday with granny, but you don't appear to be offering any reasonable alternatives... Why can't YOU have her while her Mum's on holiday? Evansmum made some good suggestions too - ask a friend along etc.At 13 she is too young to chosse to stay at home and hang out with mates, so she'll have to get over it. To be honest, I am a little surprised that you are allowing a 13 year old to pressure you to get out of a holiday that others have paid for - Why encourage ingratitude in a child that age?? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:57:02
Can I stop this
Why is it not an option for her to stay with you?I would just phone/write to the passport office and tell them not to issue a new one as you are in possession of the original. They will have to get you to hand the passport over then. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:56:51
Can I stop this
there is such thing as a Prohibited Steps Order to stop her being taken out of the country, but i think this can only be used if the child is leaving the country for more than 30 days (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:56:23
Turned down!
My advice would be; give them a bigger shovel. You now have the advantage. First of all, the children should not have been left unattended. That is a big no-no. Secondly, getting another child to do the teacher's dirty work, is forcing a minor to participate in a possible criminal act; assault and false imprisonment. The teacher has clearly not followed the school's behavioural policy. Do you have a copy? Ask them if they have any policy, regarding leaving children alone in a classroom. Ask about the conduct of the other child? Ask if they feel it is acceptable for another child to physically and mentally abuse another child and why was the teacher complicit in its execution. Don't let them away with trying to tell you that your son is lying or exaggerating. It is their responsibility, to take your comments and questions seriously and carry to out a full and frank investigation. Write a letter to the chair of governors and copy to the headteacher and LEA. Detailing the events as they happened and ask them the same questions. Under no circumstances allow this to be used to deny you your statutory right, to have the complaints procedure followed, by them not taking it seriously. Let them know that you are FULLY prepared to take this all the way to highest possible level. Do not let them use this to prevent you from achieving your ultimate goal of a successful assessment for your son. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:55:07
Can I stop this
She's going, unless I can stop this leaglly, she's going.Me having her is not an option for my ex or her nan. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:54:28
Can I stop this
im sure italy is beautiful, ive always wanted to go, but come on what youngster wants to go on holiday with a bunch of wrinkleys ?. she will be bored sh*tless, (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 18:54:04
Is it just as bad........2
This thread was started by The Godmother on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 18:40:30
Is it just as bad to.....
This thread was started by The Godmother on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 18:27:27
Im thinking of home educating due to bullying!
This thread was started by nich on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 18:27:25
What worse or are they as bad......
This thread was started by The Godmother on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 17:47:06
benefits
This thread was started by Clairebear on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 17:35:51
Children in care and pervert goes free
This thread was started by Dior on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 17:10:15
Can I stop this
This thread was started by only3moreyearsofcsa! on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 17:06:03
still trapped and cant cope, health has gone awol
This thread was started by vondahue on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 16:31:03
Starting all over again making new friends
This thread was started by marmalade123 on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 16:30:47
starting mandarin chinese class
This thread was started by neenaw on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 15:43:04
teacher lying on connors assessment form
My son is ten years old he talks constantly is very loud cant sit still cant concentrate forgets everything ect ect It has always been a struggle with him but we just got on with it. However when he came home from school complaing that no matter how hard he tries in school he remains in the bottom sets we thought we should do something. So we went to the GP he refered him to the community Paed. A couple of days later he came home crying. He didnt understand what the teacher was saying and didnt get on with his work so the teacher shouted at him - he explained he didnt know what to do so she showed him again he still didnt get it so she told him to come to the front and asked the other children to explain it to him. He still didnt get it and started crying. At the end of the lesson my son told the teacher that he had seen the GP and he thought he might have GHD (bless he meant ADHD) at which point the teacher told him quite forcefully you dont have ADHD. I spoke with the teacher and said she should not have told him that as it would imply something bad if he did have it and we should wait till he as been assessed, teacher was having none of it quite rude and aggresive to me.spoke a week later to head regarding bullying and head brought it up again saying he doesnt have ADHD anyway school have now filled in form and marked nearly everything as never and three questions as occasionally i gave the form in nextday it had been completed but should be done over 4 weeks. can any tell me what i should do i am fed up with the constant fighting.please help (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 05:15:55
school lying in connors assessment form
My son is ten years old he talks constantly is very loud cant sit still cant concentrate forgets everything ect ect It has always been a struggle with him but we just got on with it. However when he came home from school complaing that no matter how hard he tries in school he remains in the bottom sets we thought we should do something. So we went to the GP he refered him to the community Paed. A couple of days later he came home crying. He didnt understand what the teacher was saying and didnt get on with his work so the teacher shouted at him - he explained he didnt know what to do so she showed him again he still didnt get it so she told him to come to the front and asked the other children to explain it to him. He still didnt get it and started crying. At the end of the lesson my son told the teacher that he had seen the GP and he thought he might have GHD (bless he meant ADHD) at which point the teacher told him quite forcefully you dont have ADHD. I spoke with the teacher and said she should not have told him that as it would imply something bad if he did have it and we should wait till he as been assessed, teacher was having none of it quite rude and aggresive to me.spoke a week later to head regarding bullying and head brought it up again saying he doesnt have ADHD anyway school have now filled in form and marked nearly everything as never and three questions as occasionally i gave the form in nextday it had been completed but should be done over 4 weeks. can any tell me what i should do i am fed up with the constant fighting.please help (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 05:12:12
2 eves and all weekend contact to 2 hours frtnightly ,i know she cant do this plz help
hi need advice plz my ex partner is a bully ,liar and a cheat.sorry to start on a downer butthats what she is ... I have gotsservices involved because of the way my ex treats my son,his general health and well being is of the upmost importance to me..Im a non resident father with pr(parental responsibility).and i have informed sservices about the lack of care,and physical abuse from his mother.She hardly baths him and recently bite him so hard it left a mark for two weeks,i have photos to prove this..i had my son on tues,thurs eves,and all weekend,but because i have told sservices she has gone to her solicitor and i have recv,d a letter saying ive been abusive,and thatr contact should be two hrs at a contact centre..she has lied and fabricates storiesto the point of absurdity. i belive she dosent like the bond between me and my son.can anyone give me an outsiders opinion plz ...im desperate to see my son.he is 3 yrs old and i dont want him to think i dont care and love him with every breath i take. i feel so alone and confused ...i dont know what to do for the best.my brief isnt much cop,i think she can only see £ signs and is to busy to care (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 05:09:55
im shocked
"When are people going to realise charity starts at home our old people are cyring out for help and we do nothing about it!"Upset if charity starts at home why dont you have your father in law live with you? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 05:02:17
im shocked
Incidently an "illegal immigrant" is very different from an "asylum seeker". There is a difference, an asylum seeker is not an illegal immigrant. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 04:06:53
im shocked
*Edited some typos.If it is indeed true the rise in popularity of the BNP and they did indeed come into power then we would be by definition be living in a totalatarian state based on white supremacist views. This would would mean anyone who didn't fall into the "English" category according to the BNP would be persecuted.Sound familiar?It's how the Hitler got into power because he simply blamed all the countries problems on too many "foreigners" in the country.Surely your grandad who fought in the war against such a similar regime wouldn't want this? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 04:06:18
im shocked
If it is indeed true the rise in popularity of the BNP and they did indeed come into power then we would be by definition be living in a totalatarian state based on white supremacist views. This would would mean anyone who didn't fall into the "English" category according to the BNP would be persecuted.Sound familiar?It's how the Hitler got in power with he simply blamed all the countries problems to do with too many "foreigners" in the country.Surely your grandad who fought in the war against such a similar regime wouldn't want this? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 04:04:27
what are my parental rights??
hello.. i'll start by giving a brief background of my situation, i'm 22 and in the army, i was in a reletionship before leaving for afghanistan in september 07, i suspected things were not right in the reletionship whilst i was away but i just carried on believing everything was going to be ok when i returned, during my time away i was allowed to come home for two weeks in january, during this time my partner fell pregnant with my child, which i was over the moon with, it was the proudest moment of my life, after spending another seven weeks away i returned to the uk in march, since my return our reletionship has ended and i have discovered that she was having an affair whilst i was away, she insists the baby is mine and i believe her because she wants nothing to do with me but still calls me the babys father, my biggest concerns now are that she has recentley threatened legal action against me, i'm not sure of the details behind the threat but i am obviousley very concered for my unborn child, even though this has happened i have still offered to pay for housing and everything that mother and baby would need, but she is not interested, what i am asking is if anyone could tell me my rights as a father when the child is born, i desperately want to be there for my child and it would kill me if someone was to take that away from me, so if it was to go as far as to court do i have any rights when it comes to custody, joint custody, visiting rights or anything for that matter?any help in this matter would be greatly appreciatedthankyou (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 03:38:52
Hey nanas,look what I,ll be doing on the 17th May,gulp!!!
Nighty night hunny!!I should be back around 2ish,if Im not back online by tea-time,I suggest you go out and buy the latest edition of the Manchester Evening News,I may be front page spread!!!(and not for the right reasons)!!Happy weekend my friend,its been a huge pleasure and a great laugh knowing you!! (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 03:07:48
Hey nanas,look what I,ll be doing on the 17th May,gulp!!!
They could be anywhere upset and I mean anywhere.Shop doorways,under bridges,staying with friends they have made on the internet,they could be anywhere.There so young and vunrable at that the age they are and Manchester is a huge place to be and it can be such a lonely place just like London.I wonder if they have done this before but then I think possibly not due to the fact they have brought the rabbit with them,its a caring move on their part I suppose but not a smart move.We look at our problems and we think they are major but there not are they??we could be in the shoes of their mothers right now,now that is major problems compard to ours.I pray they are found soon,daytime is a much friendlier place in any city,nightime can be horrendous and so dangerous. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 03:05:10
Turned down!
Well,I went to meeting with parent partnership and our original case worker,for assessment was there.They gave me some advice on what to say at the meeting with head on monday.Nice note in my childs home school book telling me he was excluded,we would discuss it on monday and the letter was in the post.He had music first lesson and each week lately they are sent off into different groups to practice whatever they are supposed to be doing some will stay in the classroom,but apparentley the teacher just disappears off somewhere,comes back but is in and out of the classroom.Somehow my lad ended up wandering around school during this lesson got into some kind of dispute with another group from his class.Someone went to tell their teacher,and came back with the message "miss wants to see you now"this child pulled my child along by his jumper and said "hurry up"Well the got to the teacher who gave him a red slip no questions asked,and he told me that the child who had been sent to get him was commenting that he was getting into trouble in every lesson,he said she spoke like a teacher.He said to her to shut up and the teacher shouted to him "how dare you speak to her like that"when he was telling me this I was gobsmacked.After that lesson he had to stay in the meeting room all day.Smallish room with no windows,and one skylight.The head came and asked really late if he had had lunch and he said no.But by then he said he couldnt eat so he said he wasnt hungry to which the answer was o.k.I asked did anyone tell you why you were excluded and the reason is that in last week and half he got 7 red slips.He doesnt even know what the red slips are for.So what on earth are they playing at,when they have the la already breathing down their necks and what the hell should I do?Discipline and consequences are all well and good,but surely this is bordering on mental abuse.Believe me I dont use that term lightly. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:41:00
Hey nanas,look what I,ll be doing on the 17th May,gulp!!!
When something like this happens then usually they are informed by police liason officers etc and if they want us to raise awareness then they have to contact us,bit daft doing it this way but its getting to be a well known website for missing children.Even I wouldnt walk alone in Manchester after midnight upset so God knows how nervous they must be if they are here. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:39:22
name and shame CSA workers and PWC who use CSA as a weapon
or her, as the case may be. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:36:12
Hey nanas,look what I,ll be doing on the 17th May,gulp!!!
How would the parents know about foreversearching?? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:36:06
Hi
"nrp and i arent really talking, my son has gone to him from 2night till sunday as he is unwell and i hae been off work since last week looking after him and myself as i have a throat infection."Hi kelly,Nice to hear from you.
Yes ok you're not talking to your ex. Most of us don't like doing that, do we? But he IS helping you out with your son, and from your child's perspective he now seems to have 2 parents who care for him and look after him. Isn't that better than just having one?Things will get better with your ex after court is out the way - trust me!Good luck. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:35:50
name and shame CSA workers and PWC who use CSA as a weapon
Mobey, just to prove how ridiculous your scutiny can possibly be:"the NRP who pays the CSA and the PWC still refuses to let the NRP see his children also needs highlighting, (except if the childrenare in any danger of coming to any harm)."Please feel free to explain exactly which nrp is going to admit his children are in danger from him? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:35:15
Hey nanas,look what I,ll be doing on the 17th May,gulp!!!
They are obviously young in mind to take their pet rabbits bless them I really hope they are safe but where can the possibly be in Manchester, if they are from London they are used to big cities but it is worrying isn't it!! (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:31:40
I would really really like some advice
Thanks everyone it's been a real help getting different perspectives on it (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:31:13
CSA is unfair and biased!
Using Debbi's example in the OP's case he would pay £90pw as opposed to £73pw if the pwc was also working. There are many cases where there are huge differences in how the 2 former parties now live which can be fair or unfair.Taking the OP's situation. The pwcp is providing full support to the pwc as well as some towards her child. On the one hand I can see how the OP should only pay £73pw. On the other hand I can see that the pwcp has had to make sacrifes on his normal expenditure (or even savings) to provide for the love of his life and her child so I can see how £90pw is also fair. The only way round it is for the pwcp to insist she works too, but from personal experience I can honestly say (and Ghostworld should back me up here) that where childcare is involved there is no benefit for the second part of a couple to work (other than starting a career). At the end there is no-one really at fault for the extra £17 having to be paid. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:30:08
Does my ex really have a chance of getting 50/50 residency?
"neveready - how old is your daughter?"She has just turned 2. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 17/05/08 02:28:44
Dance Grant/Scholarships? Can anyone recommend who to approach please?
This thread was started by paulsspangle on May 17, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 01:16:31
The end of the phone box
This thread was started by mooster on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 00:41:14
Neck Ache
This thread was started by mooster on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 00:23:00
adoption
This thread was started by kay louise on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 00:00:59
Definition of gifted?
This thread was started by melliec on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 17/05/08 00:00:11
Its my fault (apparently)!
This thread was started by H's Mum on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 23:50:49
Mike b
This thread was started by Nettie1 on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 23:47:12
a change in son and dad's relationship.. ??
This thread was started by maloo on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 23:39:06
adopting
This thread was started by kay louise on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 23:35:42
kelloggs36 please
This thread was started by whatdowedo on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 23:29:09
MY SON WAITS TILL I CRY BEFORE HE DARE ASKS WIFE IF I CAN SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN BUT THEN I AM TOO UPSET TO SEE THEM.
Sorry if this is going to sound a bit harsh but Love and Happiness I think you should tell your son to grow a backbone. And as for the daughter in law well she just sounds like a joke. You cant see your mother !! you cant have a xmas present off her ! shes not seeing my kids !!! Your not going to their house!! tell him its about time he stood up for himself and told her some new rules.Maybe that what she needs somebody who she cant dominate .As for your ill daughter in law well the last thing she needs is all this stress around her.Tell your son its time you grew up and the daughter in law to get a life .You all letting her walk all over you and while your letting her shes never going to stop.Best thing he could do is call her bluff and if she says Im throwing you out ...then walk away from her she will soon come running.LaineyT (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 07:07:40
Primary School appeal
Thankyou for your words of encouragement. I wish you the best of luck for monday and fingers crossed a space may yet become available. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 06:51:04
How can you prove overnights??
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 04:31:14
name and shame CSA workers and PWC who use CSA as a weapon
Mobey,I had a look at your site, and showed it to one of the solicitors I know. His comment was "I hope that chap has deep pockets, libel cases don't come cheap". I understand your motivation, but is it worth getting sued? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 04:17:17
I hate my step child
i should add...i have tried...i made a promise to my husband and to his children.. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 03:55:59
I hate my step child
I have seen many posts with this topic.I will first start by saying that those of you that judge this statement, my sotry and sories like mine...you have no place to judge...and until you walk in my shoes...i dont even think that you would have anything to add to the conversation.I was a educated, single mother of 2. hard working and successcul in my career. Excited about my life and raising my children to be good and happy people.I met my husband and admiditaly...things moved a bit too fast.We were married after 8months.The problem with this...as i see it now...we didnt know eachother all that well. However..i will say that i had dated several men for a much longer term, and came to find out that i didnt know them very well after a longer period. I loved my husband, and love him still to this day. what i found out about him most likely would not have changed anything....the outcome would have still be our marriage.I see many posts about hating step-kids....(i will get to my own hate in just a minute) I think if you are reading this... you may have to open your eyes to the other parent.....i have, from my own expereince and from what i have read, beleive that the biological parent MUST be involved in the solution....if they arent a parent to their kids they shouldnt expect you to be! (this is a really hard thing to say to the person that you love...and so WE DONT...and then ...i beleive that the already taxed and problemed relationships progress and complicate solutions...and ultimately may end in what could have been fruitful for allMy husband and i have decided that my step-son has attachemnt disorder...and in that i think that their has come some peace, however knowing this has not been enough....because i am the step parent wanting my husband to step up;....and he hasnt....there has come no solutionI am ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!! HATE.... how sad i am to know that i have come to hate a child. my husbands x left him and his kids for another man. his kids still love her and worship her. I think she is a peice of shit...who leaves their f--king kids? Well she did ...but they have gone out to visit for the last 6 years...and in the mean time i am a nanny! there are so many problems here and maybe i will have to get a divorce.I love my step daughter...we have come a long waymy step son...he is only 8. and a lying, manipulative, cheating , crying brat!i have 2 children of my own...and lots of nieces and nefews...all of which i have a wonderful and normal bond with...but not him(this is a sign of the attachment disorder)...so i have tried to work with this.....his actions are pretty text book. I can no longer deal with it...but a HUGE part...is my husband..not willing to get him professional help, and angry with all the other kids in the house and their reactions to this kid....We have all become so UGLY...this is not the person i want to be! nor do i want my children to be, nor do i want them to see me in this light...(a light that i have never been in before!!!!)so....my husband leaves town frequently ...leaving me to deal with this child.... i want to beat him!!!!!! i feel like it would be such a release....there is something wrong with him, he cant make friends, he is abusive to our animals he lies all the time.....his dad is as much of the problem....allowing me to step into a role that i cant do alone...and he is a man...doesnt have the capacity ...or so it seemsso....i told my husband we would have to seperate....we could still be married and see one another, but until that child is out of the house...i can deal...i am afraid of what i might do!he i now moving to OK with his worthless mother.....now i am faced with my husbands pain...and sorrow...and a bit of guilt on my part as well. I am about to turn to the next chapter in my life...i have no idea what hte aftermath will bringi am so glad to read that i am not alone!oh..and those that judge this plight.... you have no right! you cant imagine all the ups and downs ..the efforts ....if we encounter an adult that we just cant get along with ...you wouldnt blink an eye....so dont do it in the instance of a child.... and dont judge unless you have walked in my shoes... I hope to god you never have to experience this situation!-- (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 03:49:44
Over worked and under appreciated
He is a very buff guy, and even when he hugs me i have to catch my breath, but with her, he's gentle, well he's more gentle than usual but when he burps her after a feed i can see it in her that him patting her back is uncomfortable, she looks like she is getting whiplash (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 03:43:33
Do I have any rights at all to stop my ex seeing our son?
Its not just dads that feel like this - mums as well! You should be delighted he is paying and taking an interest. Your bitterness will backfire. He may have been a lousy partner, but right now you are being a lousy parent. I split with my partner years ago coz we was as useless as a one legged man in an ar*e kicking contest, but I would have never denied my kids the opportunity to find that out for themselves. I NEVER used them as pawns, badmouthed him or demanded money he never had. My children's rights and feelings came before mine everytime. Its called respect. Its called motherhood. You are unreal. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 03:38:56
How can you prove overnights??
How can you actually prove overnights to the csa??? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 03:36:27
MY SON WAITS TILL I CRY BEFORE HE DARE ASKS WIFE IF I CAN SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN BUT THEN I AM TOO UPSET TO SEE THEM.
Oh Dear its so heartbreaking. I cannot see my granddaughter and it rips me apart. My poor Son cannot see her at this time and it is killing him. He split up with his ex last year (thank god!) and she has behaved dreadfully regarding visitation. He met a wonderful girl and the ex has caused untold problems. He is a wonderful father and a gentle soul. He has tried numerous ways to pacify the situation to no avail. The most recent incident has turned my hair grey. He went to pick up is daughter and an argument ensued over money. She told him he couldn't take his daughter, but she cried to go with him and he took her. He came home and got ready to take her to the park with is new girlfriend and her son. Within 2 minutes the police arrived and arrested him for common assault. She told the police that he had hit her, strangled her and pushed her so hard that she fell and bumped her head off the ground with the baby in her arms. The poor boy was frantic - he couldnt swat a fly. Heres why - The police then said she wanted my granddaughter back immediately. My Son said he wanted her to stay with me - they said ordinarily that would be ok, but as he is now arrested the mother can demand the child back. It broke my heart to see 1 -my grandaughters scared face when I handed her over to the policeman (she was crying 'nanny, nanny') and 2 - to see my son carted off in a police van for something he did not do. Fortunately the police were sympathetic, only because one of them was going through the same thing! They have advised him to go through the courts and have no contact with the ex at all. I have told him the same - its too dangerous, she could say anything. But that means not seeing his daughter for, possibly months. That also means the rest of us wont either. Its killing all of us. I split with my childrens father years ago. I wouldnt have dreamt of putting him or his family through this torture. Why do people do this? She walked all over him when they were together, having affairs even when she was pregnant but this is a living hell for him. His heart beats for his baby. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 03:12:59
MY SON WAITS TILL I CRY BEFORE HE DARE ASKS WIFE IF I CAN SEE MY GRANDCHILDREN BUT THEN I AM TOO UPSET TO SEE THEM.
Hi Laney. I don't think that there is anything that I can do as the only way to get it all out into the open is for my son to tell his wife what he first said that started all this off and that my x friend had just made it sound worse than it was but I have asked him but he said that he daren't tell her and so there is nothing that i can do to sort this out.A few weeks ago I took my doctors advice about cutting the family who treat me like this out of my life and out of my will and sent a card to my son saying:You haven't told the truth.You let me take the blame.You stopped me seeing my grandchildren.So now I'm doing the same :I've STOPPED your inheritance but I still love you.I just had to do it in the end as i hate to think of all what my husband, my parents and I have worked for and we can't even afford to do things that we want to do unless we move and so we have to keep working but then in the end it will be spent on someone who doesn't like me and stops me seeing my own grandchildren and like my friend says they will buy all the things that we should be buying with it now. But I have left him just a small percent and the rest has gone to the grandchildren.I can't believe I have had to do that. I never ever thought it would come to this but at least the grandchildren will get a start in life !I would never of thought of using my children to get at someone.It wasn't the sort of thing we did was it Laney. It never even entered my head that sort of thing goes on.I realise now thanks to this site that it goes on more than i ever realised and I sincerely feel sorry for all you Grandparents out there suffering like I am! Thank you for this website forum ! (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 02:51:08
kelloggs, CSA human
upset :-)I heard about the case but didnt know the LS split up, wonder what the outcome will be ????? :-) (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 02:28:05
have a look
This thread was started by chloeshere on May 16, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 01:54:37
Did any of you kids want...
This thread was started by mamof3 on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 00:50:01
name and shame CSA workers and PWC who use CSA as a weapon
This thread was started by mobey on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 00:27:05
Advice and stories
This thread was started by yum mum on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 00:10:35
what about contact blocking children
This thread was started by whatdowedo on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 00:08:55
who can afford a holiday
I love my parents. They have a home in Scotland so if I can afford to get up there I can afford a holiday (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 00:06:21
kelloggs, CSA human
Strange Kelloggs has not posted a reply, wounder why that is! (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 00:05:45
who can afford a holiday
This thread was started by whatdowedo on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 16/05/08 00:04:41
Who thinks that there is bullying on this Forum
The thing with advice is this. You listen to it then you make up your own mind. No one on here has the power to make you do something or to stop you from doing it. They give their opinions - some pretty forcefully it's true. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 00:04:04
heres me
on one of my better days (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 00:03:12
IF THE LA'S ARE REPEATEDLY VOICING CONCERNS, - WHY?
Hi posy!So you are! (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 00:03:06
The Grumble Thread.
Perhaps it's me. First time I speak to him he vanishes!Grumble at scaring off Cap'n ASdad. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 16/05/08 00:01:48
IF THE LA'S ARE REPEATEDLY VOICING CONCERNS, - WHY?
Quotespar, if you had read the previous thread with any care whatsoever, you would see that Julie has answered this for you. It's nothig to do with lying. It's to do with not understanding what home education looks like. It's about not understanding that you don't have to waste years at school practising for SATs tests to be able to learn everything you need to know to become a successful adult in your chosen field. And also, spar, if you'd read some of the recent research in the paper about how all the government interventions are harming children's education, you'd understand that the LA's really ought to start learning fast what makes the success stories that are home education so different from learning at school.(HEmy3, I'm catching on
" I know someone - a friend of a friend really - and I have seen her close to tears talking about some of her experiences and how sad she feels for the children. Her experiences have coloured her entire view of HE, to the extent that she wants more powers to monitor HE children""*Sigh* I have heard this so many times from different LAs."So if the LA's are repeatedly voicing concerns are they all telling lies for the sheer hell of it?
) (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 23:59:12
The Grumble Thread.
I think I have bored ASdad to death too 
(read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 23:59:09
2 YEAR RULE CAN BE 3 YEARS ...........................
Kellogs how do you feel about dads not paying who never wanted the child in the first place?I have a friend that fell pregnant,(was on the pill but not taking it properly) Her parter told her that he did not want her to have the baby and that if she did he would not support her- she chose to have the child 'my body my choice' etc- he left her as he said all along he would. She has now gone to the CSA- I have mixed feelings about this. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 23:58:56
posting here
This thread was started by whatdowedo on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:58:47
heres me
This thread was started by whatdowedo on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:56:10
High Court Order with no judicial seal/signature
This thread was started by paulexpat1 on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:53:04
what would you do
This thread was started by whatdowedo on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:35:45
part time education?managed school move?
This thread was started by goincrazydaisy on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:25:33
how to apply for Directions?
This thread was started by bubba on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:14:18
Lies that you have been told
This thread was started by xyzxyz on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:08:14
Watch our clip from the BBC today.
This thread was started by AngryDad! on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:03:09
help
This thread was started by adhd help on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 23:02:42
Is Year seven the year when most problems show up
Why is it that Happy and talented children start having probs in Year 7 (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:56:56
There should be a minimum of 30 minutes for children to eat their dinners
Children should be made to chew their food 20 times before swallowing. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:56:39
Help with section 13 of c1 form PLEASE
I would leave it as "cannot agree contact" for now ....You will get a chance to put in your statement after directions hearings, and THEN you can address what's really gone on.Cannot agree contact implies no blame, which is GOOD - as it means that the respondent may come to court and agree a whole load of stuff with CAFCASS prior to directions hearing - in which case you only have to have one day in court. If you make it look like you're blaming respondent from the outset, you'll get nothing but non cooperation, and it'll drag on for months. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:56:38
PND
yup it is hard work at first but it gets better. ill PM you now in a sec, in case you ever wana chat x (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:55:40
Battle for Access
Ronnie, it seems strange that such young children don't want contact with their Dad or Grandparents. What i will say is give them the access but it is to be written in the order that they are not allowed to bad mouth you off to the children. Take it from there and see how it goes. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:55:38
Email from LA re them deciding if I CAN HE!!!!!!!! CHEEK!!!!
"In tears because of un-monitored HE? I can't say my ED was exactly without tears when a fellow pupil punched her in the face during a lesson... where were the LA's self-righteous staff then?"However Paulspangle as parents never mind teachers we are sometimes not in a position to provide the perfect environment because we can never be responsible for other peoples behaviour. As i understand it you by your own admission voiced concern about your x partners violence towards you , - could you have taken action to stop that?, - or if the children heard or witnessed it to stop that ? So likewise I don't imagine the teachers stood and watched the fellow pupil assault your child without taking action however how were they to predict that punch. What would you have liked the staff to do that they didnt? (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:55:36
found this.....I thought it was amusing
Make things hard for the CSA.Never deal with them on the phone and insist that any meetings are tape recorded, it irritates them no end, tip, inform them beforehand you will be taping any interview, or if you want to use delaying tactics, whip out your tape recorder at the start of your meeting and you have a 99% chance the meeting will not go ahead. It is a lot easier for the CSA to deal with you via the phone, so insist that everything is done by letter. Do not believe you can achieve anything by talking to them by phone. They say anything then totaly deny that you ever spoke to them!Pay the CSA, not your ex-partner. You can be sure the CSA will delay payments to her (him). If money is a little slow getting to the ex, there is a slight chance she may opt out of the system.YOU DO have a choice how you pay the CSA, despite what they tell you.By using Giro Paying In Slips, you are making more work for the CSA and it costs them more to process.TipIf your CSA Bill is £100 per month, then don't go paying £100 once every month.Instead pay four amounts of £25, even though you have to waste 30 minutes each month by visiting the post office. It's four times as much work for the CSA.Even better - CSA Pay as you go scheme.Pay in several odd amounts over the month and make sure the total is just over £101, this messes up the CSA Systems no end. This works better if you have arrears, because you have a valid excuse for paying in extra, all because you are a good citizen and like paying off your debts quickly.Use your M.PThey are the people responsible as they voted for the crazy CSA systems in the first place (but they are so well paid they are never on the recieving end) and they still allow CSA mass abuse. Back in the good old days, every Saturday, M.P's would have several whinging fathers at the M.P's Constituency Surgery, harping on about the CSA and how their CSA Case was wrong and incorrect. We need to keep MP's under constant CSA pressureIf it ain't in the news, then there is no problem is there ? Same with M.P's, if there are no irate parents moaning about the CSA, then the CSA must be working perfectly well.Don't just take the easy option of sending a letter to your M.P, get up off your behind and get down to his next surgery, so you can tell him/her exactly what you want him to do. M.P's can deal with the CSA on your behalf by using the Special Parliamentary Business Unit, i.e M.P's can deal with more senior morons who have the power to correct things, rather than the less senior idiots on the shop floor, then follow it up with a letter.Find out how the CSA System works. Use the rules to your advantage.If you have remarried or have a new partner, then you have choices like becoming a househusband and paying the CSA ABSOLUTELY NOTHING Legally!.Remember, the people that DO, are most likely to have got out of the CSA, them that DON'T are still in it paying over the odds and whinging, plus there is 60 odd suicides that are neither paying or seeing there kids, except for the bloke from Cheshire that took himself and his 3 kids with him on a quick trip to Heaven. Don't let them get to you. Get at them.Lastly, it is YOUR CSA Case, its your life. You do what you feel is best for your family. Who the f*&% are CSA or anyone else to judge what you do.ONWWW had a look at one or two (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:55:00
Email from LA re them deciding if I CAN HE!!!!!!!! CHEEK!!!!
My problem with the LA, Lisa is that they failed to provide an appropriate education for both my children. By Easter of Y6 my daughter (G&T), who had previously loved school, couldn't eat during the day, couldn't get to sleep at night and was sobbing over homework because she'd done the work so many times she was bored rigid and hated school with a vengeance. My son (SEN) actually progressed backwards in Y4 and in such a state of distress because of bullying I had to take him to the doctor. The LA who is still responsible for providing this level of education for my children and who consistently blames lack of funding for paucity of provision is the same authority who feels they can decide whether I am providing an appropriate education for my children. This is like McDonald's being put in charge of inspection of other company's restaurant kitchens. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:54:59
There should be a minimum of 30 minutes for children to eat their dinners
Any less than 30 mins is unacceptable. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:54:44
Please advise: NRP lying to CSA
kbex, you are right. In the end, it is about being reasonable, ie. having standards on both sides. I couldn't take more money from my ex knowing that I couldn't spent it on the kids, or if I did, it would only be to spoil them which I am totally against.However, if I was contributing a lot more than he did and I then found out he had a salary increase, then yes I would think it fair to make the balance more equitable. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forums: Most recent messages 15/05/08 19:53:11
The difficulty getting effective support from all the agencies
This thread was started by xyzxyz on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 19:47:18
IS Consultation Period - Do home educators need to get vocal?
This thread was started by par on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 19:39:48
Consultation on new lone parent JSA regulations opens May 15th, ends June 15th
This thread was started by par on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 19:33:51
HELP NEEDED PLEASE
This thread was started by cherub1971 on May 15, 2008. (read full article)
Source: ParentsCentre Forum: Most recent threads 15/05/08 19:23:44
